It is normal for all people in relationships to have ups and downs. After all, no two people are alike, and any relationship involves give and take. It can be frustrating, however, if you find that you have a lot of anxiety, and are not sure why you are feeling that way.
In what follows, are three potential causes of why you may be experiencing anxiety in your own intimate relationships.
1. Past Harsh Words and Bullying
The two people in a relationship have come from different experiences and places. If you were bullied as a child by your peers or the adults in your life, it can be hard to forget those past hurts.
For example, you were constantly told that you were no good, or that you were ugly. These words can leave emotional scars that stay with you for a long time afterwards. In particular, if these words came from your own peer and age groups when you were in school.
Now you are in a relationship with someone of roughly the same age. You may find it hard to accept when that person tells you how beautiful and smart you are.
So until you deal with your own issues of not measuring up, anxiety will build up and will negatively affect your experiences in your relationships.
2. Difficulty with Trusting Others
You may have been hurt by infidelity in the past. Or perhaps, you experienced the divorce of your own parents. This builds lack of trust in your current relationships, and increases your anxiety levels.
For example, if your parents’ divorce was the result of a cheating scandal, this shapes who you become. You may fear that your partner will do the same thing to you. This will never allow you to experience love fully as you are always waiting for something bad to happen.
3. Unrealistic Expectations
Television shows and movies are great at creating their own versions of reality of what relationships should be like. Reality TV has only made things worse.
If you compare yourself to the people and characters you see on screen, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and unhappiness.
Instead, it’s more important to live your own life, focus on your relationship, and quit thinking about the relationships of others. This is one way to reduce your anxiety.
To conclude, two people in a relationship have come from different experiences and backgrounds. When you identify the potential causes of anxiety in your relationship, you will be able to begin healing and really enjoy your life you share with someone else.